Tuesday, 8 March 2011

Looking for a job is soul-crushing.

When people ask me what I'm doing nowadays, my current standard response is something along the lines of me attempting to balance my acting career with my day job. This is in a sense true – I mean, I'm not lying to myself – but for a while the problem with that statement is that I didn't really have either one of those things: an acting career or a day job. The waitering thing didn’t work out (ask me later) and for a while I had nothing on the cards acting-wise. This is unbelievably stressful and really panicked me for a long time. Thankfully I have been cast in a promising show and can spend my creative energy that way, and ideally looking for a job can take a back seat while I focus on acting for the next couple of weeks.

Except I can’t. Or at least I won’t be able to until I am actually balancing the two. The process of finding a new job is in and of itself a stressful task, never mind the fact that I would prefer to find something that is flexible with my acting aspirations. I spend enough time sending out applications for casting and then more effort going to auditions and doing other things to promote myself. This is the same as a day job, but instead of castings and auditions, it’s cover letters and interviews. I have twice as much work to do.

I guess in every industry, it’s easier to get work through contacts and networking than sending out your CV/résumé to interesting-looking people and then chasing it up with an email/call. I would just be happier if I could skip all that audition malarkey it would be amazing. Unfortunately, there isn’t really a better way for employers to find who’s out there. I suppose it’s the same with the rest of the world, but it’s seriously getting me down.

It doesn’t help that whenever I get frustrated, it’s my nature to find the closest distraction. (That reminds me … okay back now.) That’s why I’m writing in this blog … which means that I seem to write in here only when I’m frustrated with something. I should really use it more often, since one of my original goals is to try to get back into writing more. Well, I would feel more comfortable with setting aside time to write if I knew I wasn’t obliged to use said time to find a job! Ah, it’s a vicious cycle.

What prompted me to write in here was another instance where I have booked myself solid with rehearsals, and then suddenly I get a call from my temp agency, saying they may have a position available, starting very soon, for about a week, i.e. the exact same time I’ve already committed. Thanks a lot, world! Why does it always happen that way?

Right, I need to stop rambling and get back to work on this, and then get back to memorising my lines. My show opens in eight days, and I am getting very excited. I promise that my next entry will be one or more of the following: exciting, positive, whimsical, funny, insightful, light-hearted, disarming, intelligent, informative. All things that could describe me, basically. (hahaha)